Slip Through My Fingers
by Ruemaja
Summary: The World Ends With You. JoshuaxNeku shounen-ai with spoilers. I chase him through the crowd. This is a dream, I know. Yet I cannot stop myself...
1. Part One: Proxy

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my other fanfics. It makes a girl happy. :D I'm still trying to complete some of the parts in the game at the moment for the secret reports plus busy with work. Those school uniforms are just so cute! This is a small multi-chap fic. And once again, it's JoshuaxNeku. I can't help myself. They're just so cute... And Joshua's Japanese voice is just... so nice! So nice...

Please be warned this is a Shounen ai fic. And has some spoilers.

TWEWY doesn't belong to me but I love the game.

Thank you for reading.

* * *

**"Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part One: Proxy**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graphitti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

_Beep-! Beep-! Beep-!_

* * *

His face is the one that I look for in the midst of the crowd. I hurriedly try to chase him when I see his back to me and I remember the small smile on his lips once. It was not the usual arrogant smirk I have grown accustomed to and it was just a little smile. His thin, pale lips quirked up just enough for me to see yet not enough for the others to notice if they do notice him.

If the could see him.

His presence in the Realground is something else entirely. Here but not here yet very much alive. Joshua was something else. I have never seen his real face though I know now what he is. The Composer was a different entity all together. But I cannot help but think that if he is beautiful now, then maybe his real face would even be more so.

I chase him through the crowd. This is a dream, I know. But I cannot stop myself from running through the streets of Shibuya, looking for him. Always close but never touching. And then, just as it usually goes, I end up standing in the middle of the Scramble Crossing and I see him just a few steps away from me with his back to me, calmly observing the people. I feel a sense of joy and dread. Joy because finally I am here and dread because I know I will wake just as soon as I'm close enough to reach out and grasp his shoulder to turn him to me and see his smirking face.

And true enough, I wake, alone in my bed and my dreams and another day.

He has slipped through my fingers once again.

It was always the same dream every night for a month or so. I don't know what prompted it. Maybe it was because of our get together last month. It has been a year and a month since our return and we had all decided to go out and celebrate. That day, I thought I saw him standing in the crowd. And in my surprise, I ran toward him. But when I was finally near him, he turned and I saw it was a different person.

I wasn't sure why the pang of regret stabbed me then. But after that, Shiki and the others told me that I seemed quieter than I usually was. I laughed it off and told them nothing was wrong and that I thought I saw someone in the crowd I knew. When they asked me who, I shook my head and told them it was no one.

Since then, I always had the same dream and when I am awake, it is his face that I look for in the crowds of people. But as always, he slips through my fingers….

**Part One: Proxy**

**END**


	2. Part Two: Composer

**"Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Two: Composer**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten, it lay…_

_Beep-! Beep-! Beep-!_

* * *

His face is the one that I see in the midst of the crowd. And as I stand above Shibuya to watch, I could not bring myself to keep my eyes away as he turns around as if to look for someone. I begin to wonder who is he looking for but I stop when I hear his voice, stronger than any other in the cacophony of sounds.

_Joshua…_

I smile. It is warm and comforting to think that Neku still thought of me, every once in a while. It was nice to be remembered when everyone else I had known when I was truly human are dead and long gone. He continues to turn around and his voice reaches my ears but no matter how long he searches the crowd, he will never see me. I cannot be with him. I who am no longer human cannot be with one. Yet, I cannot help but wish I could. No matter how much I wish for it, I cannot be anything else than the Composer.

At the time I gave him the gun in that last game, I was already prepared to end my existence then and there. I would not regret if the one who would replace me is him. He has proven himself more than capable and he is the reason I did not destroy Shibuya. Because he lived in it. Because he loved it. Because he gave me new hope for it.

I do not wish him anymore pain than what I have already inflicted upon him. One does not wish one that they loved ill. I must continue to remain the Composer for his sake and watch him age and leave and forget about me.

One day soon, his memories of me will disappear, maybe dismissed as a mere dream or an illusion and then he will slip through my fingers again.

**Part Two: Composer**

**END**

* * *

More to come soon... I need sleep.


	3. Part Three: Proxy

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. TWEWY fanfics are fun to write. The truth is, this fic was supposed to only be three chapters but then it seemed to lack something so I kept writing small short chapters. It won't be too long though. I;m still writing the last part.

Right now, I'm replaying the game to get the extra stuff. I want to get the secret reports... But so far I've only three or four. Maa... hopefully I'll manage. Another day, is just really crazy. I laugh whenever I play that chapter. Neku's opening dialog is just so funny.

Thank you very much for reading.

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"**Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Three: Proxy**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

_"Hello? Neku, Where are you?"_

_Beep-! Beep-! Beep-!_

* * *

My sleep is restless.

At night, the only thing I dream of is him, when I wake I only think of him. Today, it was the same. With the same dream and the same thoughts and the same hope that I will find him in the crowds of Shibuya. But now, even with the dreams, I cannot remember his face.

My friends have been worried. They tried to cheer me up after I told them that I can't be with the person I liked the most. I didn't tell them who it was but I think they already knew. They're my closest friends after all. They know me inside-out.

And I'm glad for that. Without them, I would not have been the person I am today.

Yet I feel something is missing. In my dreams, I see what is missing. My dreams seemed to become less lucid now and memories of my month in the UG slowly fading away. It leaves me with a cold feeling, colder than being doused with frigid water, far colder than death. I don't want them to disappear. Helplessly, I struggle and flail in my dreams, trying to grasp that person's image…

I cannot see him and as the days go by, my restlessness shows and my friends try to help me anyway they can. They know I'm looking for someone though they don't know who, yet we stay near Hachiko's statue, waiting with me as memories of him continue to blur about the edges.

I know his name. And that he was different from us.

I don't want to forget you…

I won't forget you…

Joshua…

…!

I see someone whose back looks the same as him in my dream. Before Beat, Rhyme and Shiki could react, I sprint off, into the crowd.

I call his name in my mind, hoping against hope that he hears me before my memory of him finally truly, slips through my fingers…

**Part Three: Proxy**

**END**


	4. Part Four: Conductor

"**Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Four: Conductor**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

_"Hello? Neku, Where are you?"_

_Beep-! Beep-! Beep-!_

* * *

It is the Proxy's restless form that I notice as he turns his head hither and thither, searching the ocean of people for a familiar face.

It is hard not to notice him, for out of all the sounds of Shibuya his sound is the one that is heard more than anyone else's. Song clearer than any bell. I know for I have fought with him once before and he has my gratitude. It was he that protected Shibuya and it was he who convinced the Composer to cease its destruction.

But the song that I can hear from him today is different, longing, determined, yearning for someone he cannot hope to reach. I heard his voice amongst the discord.

A name that even I dared not use.

_Joshua…_

Above, I feel the presence of the Composer, watching. His pure, white form flickering in the light. I can feel the same sadness in the Composer, words that he cannot say.

The Composer has been alone for quite a long time. I have been his devoted servant all my life and I know what it is that he longs for. He wishes for the good of all and takes nothing for himself. But I know that he should be allowed selfishness, every once in a while.

The Proxy doesn't notice me when I approach him. And when he did, he was wary.

I look up for a moment to see the fallen angel speaking to the Composer. The Producer will put some sense into him, if I can't. All I can do is tell the Proxy that he has nothing to fear and that he and the Composer feel the same way.

I turn to the Proxy, the smile ever present in my face.

"Keep looking." I say. When he raises his eyes I see there is recognition, understanding. "He is here."

He takes a deep breath and bows before he runs off. The Composer's form flickering in the light while the Proxy continues his search.

I watch as all around me, Shibuya lives before any other chance slips away.

**Part Four: Conductor**

**END**

* * *

More to come soon... I hope this was alright. I'll just go to sleep... Thank you very much for reading.


	5. Part Five: Composer

"**Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Five: Composer**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

"_Hello, Neku? Where are you?"_

_Beep--! Beep--! Beep--!  
_

* * *

I hear his voice in the crowd, the only song that I hear clearly. I wish to answer but I cannot. Instead, I stand motionless as Shibuya lives and he runs through the crowd.

I can hear his frantic song calling my soul, trying to grasp what he will soon forget, memories that shift and change and disappear like sands in an hourglass.

For a moment, I allow myself to think that at least, even if he doesn't remember, I will remember him. Remembering our short meeting would only give him more suffering.

For I am no longer human.

I cannot be with him.

I feel eyes on me. I know who it is. But I don't turn to him. The Producer knows what I've been thinking of. The Conductor knows as well. They've been more than loyal to me. They are my friends too. They know me. But Neku knows me more.

I watch him as he runs through the crowd, memories slowly fading, and I am letting him slip through my fingers…

**Part Five: Composer**

**END**


	6. Part Six: Producer

Once again, Thank you very very much for reading and reviewing. It makes me really happy. Thank you very much.

* * *

**"Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Six: Producer**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

"_Hello, Neku? Where are you?"_

_Beep--! __Beep--! __Beep--!_

* * *

It is the Composer's flickering white form that I first notice, alone and lonely. I call out to him but before the words slipped from my lips, I stop as I also noticed the strange strange expression on his face. Turning, I see the one who has caught his interest. His proxy for the last game. I sigh as I watch them. One seeking and the other, one who could not be found.

It was all seemed hopeless.

I floated up, casually to where he was. He didn't acknowledge my presence but I know He knows I'm there.

The people of Shibuya from this high up, looked like ants, unaware of our presence. Save except the few that can feel us every once in a while.

We fall silent but I am tired of this silence. The Game exists to teach people about the value of what is most precious to them. Love, life, people, individuality, dreams and…

I sigh. This is getting ridiculous. But I can't blame him.

"Composer," I say respectfully. "You, out of all the beings, should understand regret and chances not taken…"

He turns to me wistfully, form flickering in and out and changing.

"_But I am…"_

I smile. "Go." I said "No one minds." I added simply.

He is surprised at first then smiles just a little. Just enough before he flickers and disappears. I watch, while below Shibuya lives before chance slips away.

**Part Six: Producer**

**END**


	7. Part Seven:Harmony I: Proxy

"**Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Seven: Harmony I: Proxy**

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

"_Hello, Neku? Where are you?"__ There was a short pause and a sigh. "Hey… Just—"_

_Beep--! Beep--! Beep--!_

* * *

I continue to search for him.

The white form that haunts me in my dreams. He lingers in the edges of my waking world, near but never near enough. Always, always slowly fading away. In the real world, he may not have even existed. Dreams and reality are blurring and I don't know what to think of anymore.

If the white form disappears from me… I will end up the same as I had been before. Half-torn, wandering the streets, living a half-life.

I'm standing in the middle of Scramble Crossing, looking at faces of people, just watching. So many people in such a small place. So many strangers, friends to be made…

So many people…

And he is not here…

Before I turn away, my phone rings and I pick up, though I cannot hide the disappointment in my voice as I speak.

"Shiki? Is that you? Sorry for running off, It's just that—"

"_Neku."_

I stop.

"_Neku…"_

"Jo…shua…" I murmur.

"_Come meet me."_

"Joshua…" I call again, wanting to hear that voice again.

"_I am here."_

Before I can say another word, he hung up. There was no number in my phone, no record of his call but I know I'm not dreaming. I shouldn't be dreaming. Not while I stand here in the middle of the crossing. Taking a deep breath and straighten, and when I look forward, he is there, a few meters away I try to run toward him. He turns just a bit for me to see his face.

Then turns away again and he walks toward another street. I follow him, running as fast I could with my heart in my throat.

Street through crowded street, I follow him, my memories of another life flooding my mind, making my chest fill up with a thousand different emotions until finally I am in Udagawa with him standing with his back to me, looking at the graffiti on the wall.

I open my mouth to speak but he got me first.

"You're late, Neku!" He says and as he turns, he smirks and I remember _him_.

"…Idiot."

I drop my phone, vaguely, I hear it fall to the ground, ignoring it as I close the distance between me and him and the loneliness slips through my fingers.

**Part Seven: Harmony I: Proxy  
**

**End**


	8. Part Eight: Harmony II: Composer

"**Slip Through My Fingers"**

**Part Eight: Harmony II: Composer**

Anticipation.

My hand shakes as I reach into my pocket to get my phone. My form shifts all about me and once again I am human. And I am young again. The same as I was that month long ago. I want to see him. I _need _to see him.

But how? No matter what I do, one day, he will be gone or I will be erased. It's a strange existence. But what Mr. H said was right. There is nothing wrong with this. No one would mind. _I _am the one limiting myself from the possibilities.

I think, even if one day, I may be erased or he may die as all humans would one day, I cannot let this chance slip through my fingers.

It may only be a moment but still—

"_Shiki? Is that you? Sorry for running off, It's just that—"_

I smile. His voice fills my thoughts with warm feelings, drowning my world in perfect tune.

I want to see him.

"Neku."

His breath hitches. I hear it. All around people are hurriedly trying to get to where they want to go. I stay where I am in the middle of the crowd.

"Neku…" I call again.

"_Jo…shua…"_ He murmurs. His song, sings and drowns the Noise all around me. I continue to smile.

"Come meet me." I say finally.

"_Joshua…" _

I say the only thing I could at the moment.

"I am here."

He knows where to find me. The place where everything began. I turn just a little because I could hear his song from behind me, warm feelings reaching me, filling me up, and making me smile. But this is not the place to talk.

So I lead him to that place. His steps doesn't falter as we continue, running through the streets filled with colorful people. Shibuya lives all around us; songs fill my ears, drowning the noise as we moved.

Finally, I stand in Udagawa, looking at Mr. H's Graffiti. Enjoy every moment with all you've got. That is the message in his work. For a moment, I've forgotten. But I won't forget it now.

I won't forget it. Even if we'll only be allowed a moment or an eternity.

I won't forget.

I hear him come and smirk as I turn to him trying to feign boredom.

"You're late, Neku!" I tell him.

"…Idiot." He says.

I smirk as he, drops his phone. He doesn't take heed of it. Instead, runs to me, closing the distance between us. He is here.

This time chance doesn't slip through my fingers.

* * *

_The sound of a cell phone's tone could be heard echoing across the walls of CAT's graffiti. Abandoned by its owner and forgotten. It lay…_

"_Hello, I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Peace!"_

_**BEEP**_

"_Hello, Neku? Where are you?"__ There was a short pause and a sigh. "Hey… Just… Please, Joshua, take care of him…"_

_Beep--! Beep--! Beep--!_

**Part Eight: Harmony II: Composer**

**END**

**Slip Through My Fingers**

**END**

* * *

It ended up being slightly longer than I had intended. But I hope this was alright. Thank you very much for reading.


End file.
